Text reblogged from THINGS MY DATE REALLY SAID LAST NIGHT with 28 notes
thingsmydatereallysaidlastnight:
“I like to hack, actually I’ve tried to hack your computer before; you know to like see things and stuff. It’s actually quite cool.”
Link
When she gets them alone for a drink, she slips them a "Mickey" and cleans them out of cash and pricey jewelry. →
The man, who wants his identity hidden, said he was the victim of a couple of smooth female crooks who lure men in with a drink, drug them and rob them blind.
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I just came from my book signing”. Dude, it’s NYC, most hackneyed pick-up line /ever/.
Text reblogged from THINGS MY DATE REALLY SAID LAST NIGHT with 23 notes
thingsmydatereallysaidlastnight:
“Do you want to eat me for lunch?”
“Eat or meet”?
“Eat.”
Photo reblogged from Unhappy Hipsters with 315 notes
His mother was right; asking girls to read his screenplay on the first date was a mistake.
(Photo: Celine Clanet; Dwell, February 2010)
Photo reblogged from MollsSheWrote with 62 notes
i slept next to these doritos last night.
they went to yale.
Text reblogged from THINGS MY DATE REALLY SAID LAST NIGHT with 6 notes
thingsmydatereallysaidlastnight:
“Things I like about you: your eyes, your smile, your breasts. I mean, those are like at least C cups, right?”
Chat
Made me reconsider inviting her anywhere
- Me: Care to accompany me out next week?
- Her: Hello! Accompany you to where!?
- Me: My buddy's closing his club so it's a final night bash. Promises to be a fun evening. I'll bring the weed, you bring your body and we'll revel until dawn.
- Her: I would love to go with you! What day? In a movie now with the famous Depp, drinking blueberry vodka sodas, feeling creative! Thanks got the invite friend. I think that would be fun..
- Me: Fab. It's next Thursday. If I'm around this week, I'll take you to Avenue one night for equally fun shenanigans. You do like shenanigans, don't you?
- Her: Lol, yes I do! And since I have not been to many places here.... That shenanigan would be fun!! I just have to be good until I get a job an get settled and not spend money... That's the only thing with my life right now..
- Me: Sexcellent. I'll text you next week. And I wouldn't make you pay for my drinks, so don't worry your purty little head about money.
- Her: (((;;;;; ok, let me know Monday when you find our and let's have good fun exploring NYC together!
- Me: K. Play your cards right and I may even take you to dinner. I heart good food almost as much as shenanigans.
- Her: I heart good food better than 50 orgasms! ;) unfortunately cause I need to do modeling in NYC, but food is a passion of mine!
- Me: Hmm. I could place a scale under you and if it starts moving, I'll take away your plate...?
- Her: No, I could you you under the table. But I will be good! Because I have to!
- Me: You could do what to me under the table??
- Her: (" many things.. but I won't because I'm only looking for friendships now! My life has been crazy and I new sanity! No more hassels, even if that means I give myself 50 orgasms. I can't with any more. So if you want the same and to have a best girlfriend, who you could do a lot of Great shenanigans with?!?!?!?!!!! That would be the best thing I have ever heard!!!!!
- Me: You're putting the cart before the horse here and assuming I'm sexually into you...
- Her: It would be great if you aren't, .... I never assume anything, I just like to put things on the line now..
- Me: Ha.
- (I hopped in the shower)
- Her: Ha
- Her: So, do you still want to take me to places...
- (ten minutes later)
- Her: Nice!
- Me: I was in the shower. I'm a fan of whatever happens, happens. Organically. So I don't put limitations on people. I'm out to have fun, not find a girlfriend/wife:) I'll drop you a line next week.
- Her: Yeah. Like me too.. Sounds great!
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I just ate ramen noodle while wearing the hottest dress I own
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